Upgraded Harpoon missiles will scream 'DJ Khaled' just before impact

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WASHINGTON — The Pentagon approved $157 million in modernization costs to make the aging RGM-84 Harpoon missile system yell "DJ Khaled!" before impacting its target, sources report.

In what the Modern War Institute has called "the hottest collaboration since Nelly and Tim McGraw's 2004 hit 'Over and Over,'" music artist DJ Khaled is lending his voice to one of the most recognizable pieces of ordnance in the U.S. Navy's arsenal.

"We are pleased to have DJ Khaled as the Harpoon missile's hype man," said Chief Pentagon Spokesperson Jonathan Hoffman. "Our soldiers and sailors deserve the very best, and according to every song he is featured on, DJ Khaled is the best."

Analysts in Washington say the Chinese People's Liberation Army Navy has already signed a deal with Birdman to develop countermeasures.

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