KABUL, Afghanistan — Residents of Kabul are enjoying shorter commute times on the Kandahar–Kabul Highway thanks to the recent completion of a designated car bomb toll lane, sources report.

"For over 18 years motorists had to endure expressways choked with vehicle-borne improvised explosive devices (VBIEDs), resulting in driver frustration, spilled coffee, and premature detonations due to excessive delays," said Minster of Transportation and Civil Aviation Muhammad Hamid Tahmasi.

"Now," continued Tahamsi, "with the patent-pending FastBlast® app, drivers can prepay their tolls and rest assured that they will reach their destination on-time and on-target."