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War dog returns from combat with necklace of enemy buttholes

FORT BENNING, Ga. – Trigger, a military working dog assigned to the 127th Military Police Company, shocked his handlers by coming back from his last deployment with a necklace of enemy buttholes.

“Some of us noticed that Trigger was having some problems,” said Sgt. Mary McKelvin, Trigger’s Dog Mom. “He’s such a good boy, my precious little stinker. He started sleeping with his eyes open, which really was so cute and quirky that I had to Instagram it. Then he wanted to go out on patrols without being asked. Adorbs. I even got him a bandanna. Who knew my little floof could be capable of war crimes?”

Trigger faces charges that could result in a bad boy discharge.

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