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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

1716 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
· Page 2

Pentagon recalls Dunford over transition binder full of dicks

Filed · 1552

THE PENTAGON — General Mark A. Milley, new Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, has filed a formal grievance after discovering the outgoing chairman left him a book full of dong art.

Milley was sworn in on the last day of September, replacing Marine Corps General Joseph F. Dunford. But within an hour of moving into his new office, Milley shut down operations to draft his complaint and recall request.

“I’ve worked with Marines my entire career, so of course I expected some dicks. Maybe on the margins of the National Defense Strategy or Sexual Assault Accountability and Investigation Task Force notes” said Milley. ”But this is just unprofessional bullshit.”

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