SAN ANTONIO, Texas – An EAS’d Golden Retriever, is concerned that immigrant working dogs are taking his job, Duffel Blog has learned.

Cpl. Nugget served in the U.S. Army as an Explosive Detector Dog (EDD) from 2014–18, including two tours in Afghanistan and a “Good Boy” Medal. Now, displeased with the nation’s state of affairs, he’s fired up his adoptive family’s Furbo dog camera and begun filming rant videos from his kennel.

"Those damn Belgian Malinoises coming into this country, taking jobs from us hard working American dogs and getting invited to the White House,” woofed the very bad dog, taking a long pause to vomit on the carpet. “We should build an invisible fence."

Nugget has expressed particular frustration with now-famous hero dog, Conan, with whom he overlapped in the 341st Military Working Dog Training Squadron at Lackland AFB. The Golden claims that reports of the al-Baghdadi raid are exaggerated and that SF dogs frequently put themselves in for valor awards beyond what they actually deserve.