THE PENTAGON – Acting Secretary of the Navy Thomas Modly announced today that the Navy will change its special warfare insignia, widely known as the “SEAL trident,” from an eagle holding an anchor, trident, and flintlock pistol to an eagle writing a book while taking a selfie with corpse.

“The original trident was developed back in 1970 and we figured it was time for an update,” Modly told reporters. “This new design is more in keeping with the current organizational direction and culture. Also, the president really liked the idea.”

The Navy special warfare community has experienced a series of unfortunate, but sadly unpreventable tragedies over the past decade, including a trial over alleged war crimes, the accidental strangling a Green Beret, and the movie Act of Valor. Modly and other Navy senior leaders prefer not to dwell on the past, but to embrace the qualities that truly set the SEALs apart from the rest of the special operations community.