FORT KNOX, Ky. — Army Human Resources Command (HRC) has been popping champagne corks all day after achieving a command first: 110 percent of Army officers have gotten their preferred number one assignments! The celebration continued long into the night, around a bonfire the size of HRC’s success.

A drone with a microphone and speaker served as HRC's spokesman, saying, “We could not be happier. We knew there would be hiccups, but after 115 percent of all officers received their number one choices, we knew we had pulled it off.”

Dozens of officers happened to choose beautiful assignments in Fort Polk, Louisiana; liaison officer positions at Twentynine Palms, California; and even slots at Altus Air Force Base, Oklahoma, which tied with Canon Air Force Base, New Mexico.