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Actual issue preview

This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

Expert land navigator can’t find his girlfriend’s g-spot

FORT BRAGG, N.C. —Expert land navigator and platoon leader First Lt. Keith Knoll is lost on the hunt for his girlfriend’s g-spot, sources say.

Lt. Knoll reportedly searched for it for an enduring four minutes last Friday night.

“I don’t get how I could’ve missed it,” lamented Knoll. “I plotted the point, shot my azimuth, and, yes, I adjusted for magnetic declination. I made use of terrain features and counted my paces aloud. I even wore my new headlamp.”

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