LAS VEGAS — A previously approved drag show slated to take place on Nevada's Nellis Air Force Base was canceled Friday after an outcry from several conservative watchdog groups, the Governor of Tennessee, and Senior Airman Jack Smilton.

Shortly before the show was canceled, Smilton, a devout follower of Alex Jones and part time Proud Boy, wrote a strongly worded email to his entire chain of command protesting the immoral and dangerous performance before leaving the office to attend Sapphire Las Vegas Gentlemen’s Club.

“You’re god damned right I protested this sick and twisted shit,” said Smilton while tucking a five-dollar bill into a rhinestone G-string. “We got innocent kids out there thinking this playing dress up and dancing and singing is normal and fun.”

Smilton courageously kept five other second lieutenants from attending the drag show by offering them a free ride to Sapphire’s and a promise to stop at In-N-Out on the way back to base.