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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Thursday, 22 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

Secretary says God commanded him to invade Greenland, restore Christian values

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

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Vol. 15 · No. 126

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

22 October 2026

0935 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Army · Page 4

Army announces development of ‘mother of all vaccines’

This is gonna hurt, a lot.

Filed · 1151

WALTER REED NATIONAL MILITARY MEDICAL CENTER, Md – Last month, Army researchers claimed to have developed a vaccine that may potentially protect against all COVID variants.

Building off that success, doctors at Walter Reed have also just released one massive vaccine that protects against “everything we could think of.” The Mother of All Vaccines (MOAV) combines every vaccine currently administered to U.S. military personnel into a single 32 ounce dose.

“Goodbye shots for typhoid, anthrax, flu, tetanus, COVID, black plague, zombie bites, and whatever else mobility lines and clinics stab us for,” boasted Director of Walter Reed Brig. Gen. Jack M. Davis. “Our troops will no longer have to get perforated every time they deploy. Just one and done!”

According to the medical center’s Chief of Staff, Col. Anthony Meader, the idea to develop a single, massive vaccine came to researchers after many sleepless nights, working nonstop for over a year against the coronavirus.

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