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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Wednesday, 7 October 2026

Pentagon

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Pentagon scrambling to restore slow load times, incomprehensible errors and traditional user experience

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

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Vol. 15 · No. 120

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Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

7 October 2026

0059 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Army · Page 4

Army announces development of ‘mother of all vaccines’

This is gonna hurt, a lot.

Filed · 1151

WALTER REED NATIONAL MILITARY MEDICAL CENTER, Md – Last month, Army researchers claimed to have developed a vaccine that may potentially protect against all COVID variants.

Building off that success, doctors at Walter Reed have also just released one massive vaccine that protects against “everything we could think of.” The Mother of All Vaccines (MOAV) combines every vaccine currently administered to U.S. military personnel into a single 32 ounce dose.

“Goodbye shots for typhoid, anthrax, flu, tetanus, COVID, black plague, zombie bites, and whatever else mobility lines and clinics stab us for,” boasted Director of Walter Reed Brig. Gen. Jack M. Davis. “Our troops will no longer have to get perforated every time they deploy. Just one and done!”

According to the medical center’s Chief of Staff, Col. Anthony Meader, the idea to develop a single, massive vaccine came to researchers after many sleepless nights, working nonstop for over a year against the coronavirus.

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