FORT STEWART, Ga. — Army Emergency Relief (AER) has announced a pilot program allowing donations through OnlyFans, with Fort Stewart selected to serve as the test site due to its high deployment tempo and famously low morale, sources confirmed today.
“I’m pretty sure we’re getting dangerously close to the definition of prostitution with this,” said Col. Andrew Maxa, Fort Stewart’s Garrison Commander, explaining that for years the AER program has received fewer donations from soldiers and forced the Army to find new ways to create revenue.
“Don’t get me wrong, I wish this site was around when I was a young company commander trying to pay off old FLIPL’s for the shit my dumbass soldiers lost and lied about” he said. “You guys thought the mold was bad before, now my entire [Directorate of Public Works] staff is responding to the AER building for simple work orders.”
The new initiative has also bolstered job security for photo lab employees who have been in extremely low demand after the Army changed requirements for official photos.
