This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
New Private eager to join US Army's 'socialist paradise'
FORT POLK, La. — Spurred by the prospect of solid communal living, subsidized health care, and a guaranteed job, newly-graduated Pvt. Bronson Alcott extolled the virtues of the U.S. Army's socialist paradise, sources confirmed today.
"I can hardly wait to get started," gushed Alcott, as he boarded the bus for the airport from his graduation at Fort Polk, La. to begin his six-year commitment to the glorious revolution. "I have been committed to the cause since before I could walk."
Still, the Burlington, Vt. native confided to Duffel Blog that his parents were initially skeptical of his decision to enlist.
More Stories
Staff command works hard to accomplish nothing
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Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
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Trump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North Korea
Duffel Blog Staff
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Air Force IG uncovers SNACKOs taking kickbacks from Big Insulin
R.J. Williams
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Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
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Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
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