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This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

Guy in back of formation doing that fucking thing again

FORT HOOD, TX — Sources confirmed today that the guy in the back of formation is doing that goddamn thing again. Contrary to express command, this dude just won't stop, and that damn clicking noise is going to draw the first sergeant's attention all the way from the back, reported observers.

"I mean, what the hell is that Autistic got in his head? Why do that with their hands and feet in the middle of close of business formation, the guy is just begging to get us all smoked," said Specialist Jerome Teedle, a soldier in the second rank of the platoon formation.

In addition to getting smoked, everyone runs the risk of staying past close-of-business today, Friday, because of this assclown. Apparently, the guy in the back of formation was not hugged enough as a child, and therefore, acts out in inappropriate ways in order to garner attention, sources suggested.

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