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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Thursday, 1 October 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

1 October 2026

1007 Zulu

Next edition Friday

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· Page 2

Ask a public affairs officer (Ep. 2)

Filed · 1546

Ask a Public Affairs Officer is a semi-regular column highlighting the best and brightest in the public relations field: Military PAO's, who specialize in dodging the tough questions, spinning the worst, and hoping for the best.

What do you think about this whole Iranian nuclear thing? Are we going to go in there and wipe them out or what?

Thank you so much for your interesting question. Nuclear arms are an important weapon in the U.S. arsenal and a great deterrent against further Soviet aggression.

My wife won't stop nagging me all the time. Then she gets all whiny when I just tell her to go make me a sandwich. I think we might get divorced. What should I do?

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