Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
20,000+readers briefed

Breaking: Ramadan insensitivity caused 'green-on-blue' shooting of SECDEF

General John Allen speaks to reporters, saying Ramadan is the cause of the recent attacks

Kabul, Afghanistan - New information provided by the Pentagon to assembled press has shed new light on the alleged shooting of Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta days ago by a man dressed as the Afghan President.

"The Afghans, in accordance with Ramadan, are required to fast throughout the day," said General John Allen, the commander of US Forces-Afghanistan. "The lack of food and water, coupled with the heat can definitely be a factor."

General John Allen also stated that to the nation’s great relief, the shooter, who was in fact President Karzai, will recover after he tragically injured his trigger finger during the unfortunate event. Secretary Panetta is already the subject of a preliminary investigation, as officials try and determine what he did to cause the attack.

More Stories

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!