THE PENTAGON — Gen. Martin Dempsey, the outgoing Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, peppered the word "fuck" 257 times in the just-published "National Military Strategy of the United States of America 2015: Fuck This Noise and Suck My Chode." Reportedly part of his plan to "smear the walls of this office with shit" on his way out of the door, Dempsey drunkenly published an incomplete and unapproved draft of the National Military Strategy (NMS) last week.

Some of the most noteworthy sections hit on topics controversial among rank and file soldiers and junior officers.

On deployment durations:

"Nine months is the ideal duration for a deployment and should follow the following construct: 1 assed-up month getting men, weapons, equipment into country and ignoring what the predecessor has done, 2 months figuring out what the fuck is going on in the area of operations, 4 months pissing off the populace, and the final 2 months planning and executing redeployment."