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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 128 · Tuesday, 27 October 2026

Army

Hasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-Con

Army officials insist neither event can be rescheduled without losing deposit

Trump announces sale of Patriot missiles to Russia

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

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Vol. 15 · No. 128

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 128 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

27 October 2026

0910 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Chaplain’s wife drives to different state in disguise to buy dildo

Filed · 1552

OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla.—The wife of Army Chaplain Mike Phillips, Amy, has just been spotted entering a dildo store 350 miles from her home, sources confirm.

According to anecdotal reports, it is often difficult for spouses of the clergy to indulge in their love of cock, due to the busybody nature of congregants and parishioners. Spouses in need of “marital aids,” costumes, and restraints must travel far outside the Fort Hood area to procure the items required for a satisfying, make-you-weep orgasm.

Mrs. Phillips declined to comment to Duffel Blog reporters, but another chaplain’s wife offered some thoughts on condition that her real name not be used.

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