PENTAGON — Long rumored tensions came to a head as the CH-47 Chinook Helicopter confronted the U.S. Army after discovering suggestive text messages on the Army’s phone, sources confirmed today.

The Chinook referenced an exchange that included a Snapchat video of the CH-53 Super Stallion (a name experts believe is clearly overcompensating for something) loading 55 troops internally and taking a 36,000 pound load. The Army claimed it can't help what gets sent to their public account and that the Chinook should be flattered that other aircraft are so interested.

While the Army characterized the texts and several direct messages as non-committal and “just seeing what else is out there,” the Chinook expressed disbelief. It appears the Army engaged in detailed conversations with multiple different aircraft and allegedly solicited pictures of several with their ramp down.

“After all I’ve done, after 57 years, you’re going to try to run off with some skinny little skank who is barely off the assembly line?” the Chinook reportedly shouted during an exchange in a Pentagon hallway.