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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Friday, 16 October 2026

OpFor

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

Tehran questions whether America has completely abandoned standards of human decency

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

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Vol. 15 · No. 124

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Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

16 October 2026

0529 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

Cyber command's first offensive operation: Bombing China with dick pics

Filed · 1532

FORT MEADE, Md. — U.S. Cyber Command released details today of its plan to discharge millions of dick pics on Chinese networks in America's first authorized offensive cyberattack.

The plan is a severe departure from earlier senior leader discussions. The original version involved Cyber Command forcing itself onto Chinese servers, shutting down the economy, and setting up forward operating networks for indefinite local interference. However, younger staff pushed back, noting that an exit strategy was undefined.

Gen. Paul M. Nakasone, commander of U.S. Cyber Command, crowdsourced ideas from his staff. The winner came from one of his few female non-commissioned officers, Cpl. Lana Rodriguez.

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