THE PENTAGON — Researchers from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), the secretive scientific organization tasked with developing cutting-edge technologies for national security agencies, unveiled a paradigm-shifting artificial intelligence that they claim is capable of committing the nation to unwinnable wars hundreds of time faster than human military and political leaders. If true, the new A.I. could potentially replace more than 80 percent of Pentagon leadership and most of the existing National Security Council.

James McFadden, lead project manager for the DOMINO A.I., gets visibly excited about his teams creation.

“We’re very enthusiastic about the potential of this new capability,” McFadden said. “Throughout American history, it has usually taken years to get bogged down in military adventures overseas. From Southeast Asia, throughout the Middle East and Africa and other smaller quagmires, the amount of time devoted to miscalculating threats and overestimating the effectiveness of military power often amounts to years before the first bomb is dropped or TLAM fired.”

“But now,” he continued, “thanks to DOMINO, which can process billions of miscalculations per second, we can go from an article published in the New York Post to deployment orders being issued in less than a week.”