This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Desperate quarantined Jody forced to bang own wife
SAN DIEGO – Tim Chen, an accomplished Jody servicing the wives of the U.S. Navy pacific fleet, has been forced into banging his own wife due to social distancing measures during COVID-19.
“I’m approaching this with patience and innovation,” said Chen. “I’m willing to corrupt a deployed sailor’s wife over zoom, sexting, or even Microsoft Teams. However, with the stop movement order delaying TDYs, training exercises, and ill-advised geo-baching decisions, for the time being I’ve been #SaferAtHome. Even if that means I might have to bang my own wife.”
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