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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Thursday, 22 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

Secretary says God commanded him to invade Greenland, restore Christian values

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

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Vol. 15 · No. 126

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

22 October 2026

1306 Zulu

Next edition Friday

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· Page 2

Desperate quarantined Jody forced to bang own wife

Filed · 1550

SAN DIEGO – Tim Chen, an accomplished Jody servicing the wives of the U.S. Navy pacific fleet, has been forced into banging his own wife due to social distancing measures during COVID-19.

“I’m approaching this with patience and innovation,” said Chen. “I’m willing to corrupt a deployed sailor’s wife over zoom, sexting, or even Microsoft Teams. However, with the stop movement order delaying TDYs, training exercises, and ill-advised geo-baching decisions, for the time being I’ve been #SaferAtHome. Even if that means I might have to bang my own wife.”

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