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ARLINGTON, Va. – The Pentagon has released the results of an internal investigation into the Department of Defense’s awards process. Most noteworthy, the report found that every single Legion of Merit ever awarded has been complete and total bullshit.
Capt. Roger Forsythe, a spokesman for the Pentagon's Headquarters and Headquarters Comapany, told reporters, "We really thought at least a few of them would turn out to be deserved."
"But: Nope."
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