WASHINGTON D.C. — A bipartisan group of lawmakers, historically known for avoiding military service downrange, will vote on whether to make women register for the draft this week. In a bid towards providing all young Americans with an equal opportunity to serve against their will, the Senate Armed Services Committee has proposed legislation requiring women to be included in the Military Selective Service Act.

“God forbid we are faced with a national crisis in which we are required to raise a non-volunteer force and women are not given the equal opportunity to evade service as many male members of Congress have been able to do for the last 70-something years,” said Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah). “I got at least three education deferments during Vietnam myself, it really pushed me to stay in school.” 

Despite most members of Congress not having served in any branch of the military, the bill is expected to pass overwhelmingly.

Voters’ reactions to the committee’s proposal were mixed, however, with feminists and sexists united across the political spectrum in outrage.