Drill Sergeant Follows Through On Threat To 'Rip Out Heart and Snuff Soul' Of Recruit

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing

4,200+dispatches filed

20,000+readers briefed

FORT BENNING, GA — Earlier this week, Private First Class Jason Hentinger ceased to exist. Following a confrontation with Drill Sergeant Francis Humphrey, Hentinger was consumed, body and soul.

Soon after arrival at his basic training assignment, problems became apparent with the new recruit. Hentinger allegedly refused to bury his face in the top of a duffel bag he was hugging next to his chest while running the 2.5 miles to the temporary barracks in which he would be housed.

Another drill sergeant, Sergeant Brandon Wilson, also expressed disappointment with the new recruit: “I can spot a problem child, and that kid Hentinger ... I just knew he was going to be an issue when he didn’t blindly run over that pothole ridden parking lot.”

Problems only intensified for Hentinger. According to a platoon mate, Hentinger sometimes fell out of formation when running for PT.

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

More Stories

Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards

Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War

Americans begin thanking troops for future service

Pentagon limits combat casualties to normal business hours

DoD reclassifies sexual assault as 'flirting' under new policy

Fat Leonard releases sex tape as part of presidential pardon campaign

Opinion

Start Here