Soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines! Are you looking to get into a hot new fad/insane death cult? Are you interested in looking like you’re working out, but not really working out? Then CrossFit might be for you!
You should know that doing CrossFit is not like your normal workout. Here are some tips to help you quickly acclimate into the fitness program's unique culture.
1. You need to have a pre-workout drink. Get a clear plastic cup with a metal shaking ball and mix up a big ol’ batch of Muscle Milk, Protein Shot, Crea-Splode, or Kentucky Nightmare BroYoke Mix. Add a shot of bullshark semen to get that extra kick.
2. Wear appropriate attire. as little as possible. Men, wear Ranger Panties and preferably no shirt, but if you do wear a shirt, make it as moto as possible — something from Grunt Style, Inkfidel, or RangerUp about slaying bodies or something. Ladies, wear a tiny sports bra that shows everything but your nipples, and shorts that are so small that people can actually see inside your butthole — but remember to scowl furiously at any guy you catch checking you out!
