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This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

E-4 Mafia designates Sergeant majors nonessential personnel

FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — The E-4 Mafia announced today they have designated sergeants major, command sergeants major, and first sergeants as nonessential personnel for the remainder of the COVID-19 pandemic. The senior noncommissioned officers will be mandated to telework from home effective immediately.

Master sergeants — deemed relatively harmless by the E-4 Mafia — may continue reporting for work as normal.

“It’s totally about health and welfare and not because these ranks are giant buzzkills,” said E-4 Mafia spokesperson Spc. Frankie Howe. “The High Council met and determined these senior NCOs would best serve the Army if they were not in the vicinity of their units.”

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