E4 Mafia opens 'E3 Joint Center of Excellence'

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Sham Shield engaged: the E3JCOE at peak business hours.

HOMESTEAD AIR RESERVE BASE, Fla. — The Junior Enlisted Servicemembers Union, better known as the "E4 Mafia," held a press conference today to announce the opening of the E3 Joint Center of Excellence (E3JCOE), a professional military education opportunity for rising stars in the E3 community, at Homestead Air Reserve Base, thirty miles north of Key Largo.

“Location, location, location,” said E3JCOE Commandant and Marine Cpl. Miguel Alvarado, currently assigned to the Air Force 482d Fighter Wing as part of an interservice PAO Exchange Program he describes as “a huuuuuuge scam, bro”.

The E3JCOE curriculum is designed “to give E3s vital skills they’re not taught in boot camp,” said Alvarado. Classes, seminars, and field trips cover:

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

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