Elves failing new Christmas Festive Test at alarming rates

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NORTH POLE — The readiness of the Total Holiday Force is in question after the surprise announcement from the Office of Santa Claus of a 40% naughty list rate on the new Advent Christmas Festive Test.

The Advent Christmas Festive Test, or ACFT, is Santa’s first holistic new holistic health and fitness test in 300 years. It provides Santa with an assessment of all Elves’ goodwill strength, caroling endurance, chimney power, gift speed, candy cane agility, gift coordination, festive flexibility, and joy stamina.

“The festive culture at the North Pole is stuck in the 1880s,” Santa Claus told Duffel Blog. “We put too much emphasis on passing out candy canes and check-the-box presents. The ACFT is exactly what we need to change the culture.”

Many across the North Pole see the new test as bad tidings.

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