FORT LEWIS, Wash. — Private First Class Vanyetta Kilmeade was feeling very alone and nervous as the prospect of single motherhood quickly approached, but that was before the entire 2nd Platoon graciously agreed to act as a collective father for the baby.

“It’s a huge blessing,” said Kilmeade, “because Mama said I ain’t welcome at home no more since I got a bastard humped into me, and cain’t rightly say who the daddy could be neither.”

She broke down into tears of joy at the thought of all the soldiers of 2nd Platoon volunteering for such an unprecedented act of kindness and charity. The soldiers collected several hundred dollars to help with expenses, set up a “chore schedule” to assist Kilmeade with housework, arranged a babysitting rotation, and even offered to help with lactation therapy.