WASHINGTON — Defense Secretary Mark Esper has told his staff he won’t leave the Pentagon until he figures out the USAJOBS website, sources confirmed today.

“It keeps saying I’ve got the wrong password,” Esper said of the federal government's primary hiring portal. “I pushed backspace more than anybody today.”

President Donald Trump fired Esper on Monday, months after their relationship soured amid differences over the use of active-duty troops in American cities and whether McDonald’s was better than Burger King.

Trump immediately named counterterrorism czar Chris Miller to the Pentagon's top job, giving the former Green Beret a notable 72-day-long bullet point to add to his resume after he gets fired on Jan. 20.

But Esper is pushing back on the rushed timeline, citing delays in reactivating his USAJOBS account, updating his resume, deciphering overly complicated announcements, and determining which positions he is qualified for.

“Trump has his timeline. I have mine,” said a frustrated Esper while trying to understand the need for two-step verification when applying for federal jobs. “I can’t even have my cellphone in here.”

Aides to Esper said he had spent the morning yelling at his computer and slamming his mouse on his desk out of frustration with the USAJOBS password recovery process.