NEW YORK, NY — Sources confirmed that the F-35 Lightning II was inducted yesterday into the Intrepid, Sea, Air, and Space Museum in New York City. The closed door ceremony was the high point for the F-35, capping off the fighter's illustrious warfighting career as the most colossal fuck-up in military acquisition history.
Speaking to Duffel Blog reporters, museum curator Saul Rosenblatt said, "We weren't sure if the F-35 was up to snuff as an exhibit in this museum. We take great pride in displaying planes with a robust combat history, like the A-4 Skyhawk and the A-6 Intruder. We passed on the F-22 Raptor because that was an even bigger piece of shit fighter jet. We had no choice but to display the F-35 between the crapper and the concession stand."
Seven years behind schedule and a tad shy of 70 percent over budget, the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter never quite found its niche in the annals of dogfighting history. "I mean, who was the project manager on this shit show, MC Hammer?" lamented a disgruntled Lockheed Martin employee.
