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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Sunday, 27 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Sunday

27 September 2026

0813 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

First officers graduate SOCOM's new SNACK-O course

War is hell... when you're hungry.

Filed · 0500

TAMPA, Fla – U.S. special operators have a critical new capability in their arsenals now, after ten officers graduated this week from U.S. Special Operations Command’s new Snack Officer, or “SNACK-O” course.

“Special ops teams are often inserted into denied territory for extended periods of time,” explained SNACK-O course manager Maj. Franklin Parks. “Our operators endure all kinds of hardships, but one of the worst is not being able to satisfy that inevitable craving for a Twix bar or Coke on day three of a clandestine intel collection mission. Well, that won’t be an issue anymore.”

“Not just anyone can wear the Chocolate Beret,” said Col. Warren Sanders, SOCOM’s Chief of Plans, Policies, and Procedures. “It takes a person with nerves of steel, a mind like a steel trap, and — most importantly — a grade below O3.”

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