Shrapnel recovered by Taliban fighters who hoped to sell it for scrap

TABRIZ AIR BASE, Iran — An Iranian Air Force pilot who flew his “suicide drone” into Taliban personnel during recent border skirmishes over water between Iran and Afghanistan was awarded 72 virgins for a record fifth time at a ceremony held yesterday on the base’s parade ground, Duffel Blog has learned.

A VHS tape smuggled out of Iran shows Air Defense Force Commander Brig. General Alireza Sabahifard presenting yet another harem of six dozen undefiled concubines to Capt. Ahmad Meyghani, Jr. for his record-breaking remote effects kamikaze attack that blew up a single Toyota Tacoma left behind at Hamid Karzai International Airport, killing three and seriously inconveniencing the remaining twenty-four Taliban fighters who used the truck to get to the fight.