WASHINGTON — Throwing the Pentagon into a frenzy this morning, sources say local four-star general Everett Thomas had only attained a one-star rating on user review app Yelp.
Based on 126 customer reviews, the general's dismal 1.2-star rating puts him below Washington, D.C.-based Mexican restaurant Señor Mariachi and a Wendy's in Westerville, Ohio, but ahead of Ivan's Cafe in New York, which is actually a front business for the Russian mob.
"His service was terrible," reads a review from user Salty B. "Over 30 years in uniform and he only deployed, like, twice. I'm never going to Gen. Thomas again. One star."
