FORT BRAGG, N.C, — Move aside, Green Berets! Recently leaked classified documents reveal the military’s latest pet project: a top-secret new airborne force, composed entirely of cats — E.C.H.O. Force (Elite Cats Hunting the Opposition). Insiders say the cats sometimes refer to themselves as The Cats Who Stare at Men. Their slogan is "Clawus autem terrorus!’

E.C.H.O. Force specializes in stealth attacks. They typically infiltrate enemy territory via the sky or the bedsheets, and they are absolutely relentless. How do they know who their target is? Well, these ferocious felines can smell a rat from miles away. Other operators reportedly envy the length of their kill list.

Despite repeated requests, Company commander Captain Mittens was not made available for comment. However, he did leave a dead mouse outside this reporter's hotel room door.