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· Page 2

General funk announces 20 new fundamentals in response to Coronavirus

By Duffel Blog Staff · Bureau · 1 minute

Filed 5 October 2022 · 1550

THE PENTAGON — Gen. Paul E. Funk II has heard the cries of a starving nation. What world could be content with only 40 Funk Fundamentals? Not this one.

The new list came to Gen. Funk in a dream, as if from within the Gates of Valhalla, itself. He awoke this morning knowing that the world must know what we are about to share with you—Funk's Advanced Theorems.

Funk's Fundamental Number 41: You can learn a lot from watching Jeopardy.

Number 42: Always hover over the porta john seat.

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