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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Monday, 5 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

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Vol. 15 · No. 119

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Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

5 October 2026

0002 Zulu

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· Page 2

General Mattis crashes RNC, shreds on triple-neck guitar for grunts in Helmand

Filed · 1546

TAMPA, FL - The Republican National Convention was unexpectedly interrupted last night during Mitt Romney's acceptance speech by an extremely loud guitar solo from CENTCOM Commander General James Mattis.

After having personnel from his headquarters at nearby MacDill Air Force base set up speakers, amplifiers, and a stage outside the convention center, Mattis began "ripping it" on his custom, triple-necked electric guitar which he named "Shock and Awe".

The unexpected appearance was made in response to a challenge issued by Ted Nugent, who was scheduled to play the venue.

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