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Actual issue preview

This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

Generals conduct change-of-command in Afghanistan for roughly 32,435th time

KABUL — The U.S. Resolute Support mission, which oversees NATO forces in Afghanistan, on Wednesday conducted a change of command ceremony for the approximately 32,435th time in the 67-year-old war or whatever the hell it is now, sources confirmed today.

Gen. John W. NoOneEvenCaresAtThisPoint relinquished command to fellow Army Gen. Austin S. NotGonnaWinTheWarEither in a traditional ceremony held at the RS headquarters, amid celebratory gun and mortar-fire directed at the base near downtown Kabul.

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