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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Wednesday, 14 October 2026

Veterans

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

Hegseth opens up new TradWife MOS

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Vol. 15 · No. 123

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Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

14 October 2026

0241 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
· Page 2

Green Beans coffee stokes tensions in South China sea

Irvine recommends every Marine try "200 reps of 7.62" in the Spratlys

Filed · 0942

Irvine demonstrates how to choke the life from a man or eat a turkey burger.

FRESH KITCHEN, The Pentagon – Chef, fitness fanatic, barista, government destabilizing agent, and president of the international Green Beans Coffee expansion project, Robert Irvine is implementing a plan to expand opportunities and increase market share for Green Beans by starting a land war in Asia.

The Menacing of Arch China or “MOAC,” is a base of the National Defense Strategy with four shots of fear-mongering mixed in. While the goal is a near-peer engagement with China, and/or 5,432 Green Beans coffee locations by 2035, Irvine is on track to hit the key road-to-war benchmark of 3,200 caramel frappes in the Straits of Taiwan by fiscal year 2025.

“No one stops Robert Irvine when he wants something,” said Robert Irvine as he did farmer carries with 80kg of Fit Crunch in each hand. “First, I controlled the military-industrial caffeine complex. Now I control the narrative.”

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