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Actual issue preview

This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

Gunny wishes toddler would stop misbehooving

Gunny wishes toddler would stop misbehooving

WASHINGTON — The two-year old dependent of a local Marine just won’t stop misbehooving, sources at the Washington Marine Barracks report.

Gunnery Sgt. Chester Thompson, whom subordinates collectively describe as a strict disciplinarian, appears to have met his match in the form of a three-foot tall, bipedal terror named Chad.

“I don’t like getting into the Pacifics of my personal life, but I’m at an udder loss,” Thompson admitted with a tinge of despondence.

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