WASHINGTON D.C. — Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is preparing for a whirlwind of travel across the U.S. this week, to include stops at military bases, strip clubs, the Burning Man festival, and a trip to a tattoo parlor to get "sleeved out", according to a Pentagon spokesperson.

"The secretary really feels he needs to get out there and see the troops firsthand," said George Little to reporters, "although I wish it wasn't right next to them at the strip clubs and used car lots, but he's the boss."

Hagel may appear professional when he's on Capitol Hill, but "when you work hard, you play hard," Hagel wrote in his autobiography, 'Murican Badass: The Life and Times of Chuckie H. "I didn't get the nickname 'Don't Give a Fuck Chuck' for no reason while attending the University of Nebraska."

The first stop on Hagel's itinerary is the annual Burning Man festival, which takes place in the Black Rock desert of Nevada.