Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Thursday, 1 October 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 117

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

1 October 2026

1742 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
· Page 2

Hasbro announces new, more realistic G.I. Joe action figures

Filed · 1538

EL SEGUNDO, Calif. – Toy manufacturers are making headlines again, fresh on the heels of Mattel's Barbie Doll™ reboot. This time, Hasbro has announced they will revamp their popular G.I. Joe toy line to more accurately represent today’s service members.

“The G.I. Joe is, first of all, a patriotic toy,” said Hasbro spokesperson Julie Duffy. “For years we’ve had concerns that G.I. Joe presented an unrealistic body image for soldiers, who we know don’t have chiseled chests and neat crew cuts. We ‘let the doll evolve,’ now it’s time to ‘let the action figure evolve.’”

The new G.I. Joe will come out of the box with a tasteful neck tattoo and hands in his pockets, and will be joined by new models including “Can’t Pass Tape,” “Height Waiver” and “Supplement-loving Bro Dawg.” The collector’s edition “Legal Hold,” now with Copenhagen Lip ™, will only be available as part of the Smoke Pit Playset.

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!