< class=" wp-image-18213 " alt="Grounded and going nowhere." src="http://duffelblog.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/070517-F-3108S-022-688x450.jpg" width="720" height="470" /> Grounded and going nowhere.

WASHINGTON, DC – In its seven years with the Air Force’s 451st Air Expeditionary Wing, MQ-1B Predator, Tail Number 07-001211 flew more than 18,000 hours of combat support and strike missions over Afghanistan and Pakistan. This qualifies it as one of the most experienced drones in the military’s inventory but not apparently for the software upgrades it will need to find a job back home.

“I call my VA rep, and the son of a bitch tells me I’m only eligible for software packages priced at the Windows 98 level or equivalent,” the unmanned aerial platform said from its hangar in Northern Virginia. “Like I’m some fucking Hewlett-Packard.”

Indeed, the Department of Veterans Affairs, which administers the Post-9/11 GI Bill, stipulates that only living, breathing human beings can qualify for full benefits of the program. Unmanned vehicles and robots, on the other hand, fall into a slimmer, more vaguely worded category of coverage in which software and some hardware upgrades are available but only from the lowest bidding companies and manufacturers.