Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 121 · Saturday, 10 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth opens up new TradWife MOS

Army says new career field will allow warfighters to focus on lethality while someone else remembers the kids

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 121

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 121 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

10 October 2026

2109 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

New hookup app notifies Jody when you're deployed

Filed · 1534

FORT DRUM, N.Y. — Military dependents nationwide are signing up for Dear John, a new dating app utilizing GPS technology that notifies Jody when you are deployed, sources confirmed today.

Dear John has already created over thousands of potential divorces in and around military bases after its launch last year. The Tinder-style app, launched to help battle loneliness and horniness in military spouses, already has 110,000 users across the U.S., the company said.

“I thought my life was over. Here I am in a new town with new people, and no one to slap my tits around,” said Abby Barnes, who joined the social app around a month ago and has already met with eight Jodies who are relentlessly attracted to lonely women who have zero inhibitions. “I was a bit nervous to meet up with Jody at first but I’ve been having a lot fun lately.”

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!