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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Wednesday, 21 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

Secretary says God commanded him to invade Greenland, restore Christian values

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

21 October 2026

1854 Zulu

Next edition Friday

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· Page 2

IED emplacement postponed for another Goddamned safety brief

Filed · 1547

TREKH NAWA, AFGHANISTAN – The planned emplacement of an improvised explosive device (IED) on Main Service Road Tulley was delayed again, according to local Taliban leader Mullah Ahmidullah, because all the emplacers had to attend "another goddamned safety brief."

"We were all set to go this morning, until I got my turban chewed by Mullah Hayatullah," Mullah Ahmidullah complained.

According to Mullah Ahmidullah, four of his emplacers still had to undergo Operational Risk Management, Motorcycle Safety, and Gender Sensitivity Training.

"Seriously?" Mullah Ahmidullah exclaimed. "Gender Sensitivity Training? The last woman we saw was the one we stoned to death for smiling!"

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