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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Thursday, 5 November 2026

Pentagon

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

Officials cite historically proven American strategy of entering wars completely unprepared

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

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Vol. 15 · No. 132

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

5 November 2026

1102 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Army · Page 4

Inclusivity FTW! After this man was fired from every job he ever had, the Army gave him power over life and death

Filed · 1531

Getting rejected from job after job can be frustrating. So when the US Army found out that 35 year-old Craig Foley had been fired from every job he ever had, they stepped up and gave him a job wielding absolute power over life and death!

Wow! Talk about selfless service!

Although most Americans are enjoying some of the lowest unemployment rates in nearly 50 years, some Americans don't have the necessary interpersonal skills or impulse control to succeed in a 9-to-5 job. Foley himself was literally sitting outside of the building where he was fired as a sanitary napkin tester when local recruiter Staff Sgt. Sandra Colton found him blankly leering at passersby. Anyone else would have called the police, but luckily Colton saw Foley's raw, untapped potential to decide who lives and who dies in a mortal imbroglio halfway around the world.

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