This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Influx of barracks tiger cubs as stimulus checks arrive
CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. — Wooooooweeee! The barracks is starting to look like that bitch Carole Baskin’s house. We got five live tigers up in this place, ya’all. And it’s awesome as hell.
Holy shit, did those stimulus checks come at the right damn time. Did you know a tiger is only worth two stimulus checks?! Yeah, we didn’t either until we watched Tiger King.
Jeff Lowe and that super chill hippy cult leader Bhagavan “Doc” Antle both know what we’re talking about. Did you know that you can lure a potential lifemate if you have a tiger in your barracks room?!
More Stories
Sleeping Marine aces hearing test
Red Friday
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Trump mulls leaving seamen in Iran without Plan B
SECDEF_Nice
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Congress proposes veterans fight to the death for expanded benefits
Sgt B
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Hegseth declares blow jobs not gay if both men are fit, clean-shaven
Gray Sea Liu
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Staff command works hard to accomplish nothing
Red Friday
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Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
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Duffel Labs
A field desk of military mischief and useful bad ideas
Pentagon Buzzword Generator
Generate authentic defense jargon.
Pocket NCO
Leadership advice with a knife hand.
Navy SEAL Book Generator
One click. Instant airport bestseller.
DD-214 Fortune Teller
Your civilian future, declassified.
Military Speech Builder
Remarks for ceremonies and mandatory fun.
Veteran Benefits Finder
Find benefits you might have missed.
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