MOSUL, Iraq — Militants of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS) are surrendering en masse to the Iraqi government following the group's seizure of thousands of meals ready-to-eat, which made the fighters largely ineffective amid cramps and diarrhea, Duffel Blog has learned.
In addition to a number of MREs seized from former U.S. military bases, ISIS fighters had received a large shipment the U.S. had air dropped in to support the Iraqi Army. As soon as they were dropped however, the soldiers of the Iraqi Army — deathly afraid of jihadists, loud noises, dogs, Saddam (still), and their own shadow — promptly fled the battlefield, allowing ISIS fighters to capture everything, sources confirmed.
“Many of us in the intelligence community were skeptical of this administration’s so called ‘support’ for the Iraqi government," said Marvin Waltrip, an NSA analyst based at Fort Meade. “However, once Operation Red Line kicked off, the response was immediate. The terrorists began to experience what American soldiers had dealt with for almost 30 years. Stomach cramps. Uncontrollable diarrhea. And in some cases, thoughts of suicide. They didn't stand a chance."
