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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Monday, 5 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

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Vol. 15 · No. 119

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Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

5 October 2026

2343 Zulu

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· Page 2

Jewish Marine refuses to conduct annual gas mask qualification

Filed · 1545

CAMP PENDLETON, CA — Testing the effectiveness of the M50 Joint Service General Purpose Mask in a room filled with tear gas is a staple of annual training events for Marines since boot camp, but one Marine refuses to participate, insisting that her chain of command is comprised of fascists typical of Nazi Germany.

Private First Class Dalia Bettelheim says there is a little-known Marine Corps Order stating her exemption from the training, and her personal disposition towards the act of being crammed in a room and gassed has become another sensitive issue in the realm of political-correctness oft plaguing the military.

"My friend told me that Jewish Marines aren't required to enter the gas chamber," said Bettelheim in a recent interview, "on account of the Jews being forced into gas chambers by the Nazis during World War II."

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