FORT DRUM, N.Y. — A third-party presidential candidate is making waves this election season by focusing on the wants and needs of low-ranking troops.
In many ways, Army Private First Class Bucky Faber's platform sounds like something you'd hear from one of the frontrunners. He advocates a middle-class tax cut, aggressive environmental protection measures, and of course a strong national defense.
Where Faber sets himself apart is with his unconventional pledges.
"If elected," Faber said during a recent campaign stop at Ft. Drum, "I'll make it so that Copenhagen is totally free at the Shoppette, seeing as we enlisted guys ain't made of money."
Faber also promised that the Shoppette would hand out free Playboys and Penthouses to all personnel E-3 and below.
"Yeah, there's a lot of free porn on the Internet," Faber said, "but a lot of guys downrange don't have regular Internet hookups. And really, there's something you can't beat about the good old-fashioned feeling of slick pages in your hands while you're looking at titties."
Before joining the Army, the 36-year-old Faber spent his twenties and early thirties working dead-end jobs at bookstores and chain restaurants. He doesn't have any previous elected experience, but he is no stranger to legal matters. In 2005, he served as his own defense against reckless driving charges and lost. He has also more recently served as his unit's barracks lawyer.
